Paul knew how much his younger brother enjoyed watching television. So he was surprised one day when he saw him turned off the set right in the middle of a program. The reason? Paul's brother explained: "It wasn't a clean show. I knew you would have turned it off, so I turned it off myself."
Without even realizing it, Paul had set an example for his younger brother to follow-and a good one at that. Do you have younger siblings? Then what you say and do can likewise affect them. Says the book Sibling Rivalry, by Seymour V. Reit: "The drive to emulate an older sibling is incredible strong and guides much of a young child's actions. Older siblings are natural models."
So, like it or not, because you are older and more responsible, your brothers and sisters will probably look up to you. They may try to copy the way you say and do things. Granted, always having to be an example to your siblings may seem burdensome at times. "I'm the example for everyone else," complains a teenage girl named Linda. "So my mom tells me that's why I have to do good in school . . . I really have too much responsibility." The pressure may be particularly great if you live in a single-parent household. "I'm practically their father," wrote one boy about his younger siblings.
Nevertheless, being the older brother or sister has its advantages. For one thing, it allows you to be a positive influence in the lives of your siblings. Let's see how.
How To Be A Good Example For Your Younger Siblings At Home
Of course, it is primarily the responsibility of your parents to build up your home, to make it a place where peace and pleasantness reign. But by showing some wisdom and discernment yourself, you can make a large contribution to the happiness of your family.
For example, how do you react when Mom or Dad asks you to take out the garbage or to clean up your room? Are you cooperative? Obedient? Or do you rebel or talk back disrespectfully? If so, don't be surprised if your younger siblings soon begin talking back too.
Granted, you may have a legitimate cause for complaint. Lamented one 18-year-old girl: "I don't think my mom puts enough responsibility on my two brothers. Responsibility falls on me for everything." Perhaps she has a point. But rather than rebelling, is it not better to talk matters over with your parents in a calm and respectful manner? You can let them know how you feel and what you think might improve matters. By openly and freely communicating with your parents, not only are you making life better for yourself but you are also teaching your younger siblings the adult way to settle disagreements.
However, after talking things over with your parents, remember, they have the last word on the matter. So be happy with their decision. In this way you will also be setting a good example for your siblings.
Heated disputes over household chores can often be avoided altogether if you take the initiative. In other words, do you always have to be told not to leave your clothes all over the floor, or do you straighten things up without being prompted? Your quiet example in this regard can do much to help a younger brother or sister learn that in a family each one must carry his own load if things are to run smoothly.
How To Be A Good Example For Your Younger Siblings At School
'I hate school.' 'I don't see why I have to go. I'm not learning anything.' 'Just as soon as I can, I'm going to quit school.' Youths are often heard expressing such
negative views of school. But do your younger siblings hear you talking that way? Do they see you skipping school or cutting classes? This could easily affect their attitude toward school.
Setting the right example means developing a wholesome, positive attitude regarding school. This may not be easy. But remember: Applying yourself in school can help you to develop skills that will enable you tom support yourself one day as an adult.
A good attitude toward school is sure to rub off on your younger brothers and sisters. And by taking a personal interest in their grades and homework-volunteering to help them out from time to time-you can do much to nurture their academic development. But what about the way you conduct yourself in school? How do you treat teachers,counselors, and school administrators? Are you sarcastic, argumentative, or do you set a good example by showing respect for their authority?
Your siblings will observe what kind of friends you pick. Do not be misled. Bad associations spoil useful habits. At the same time, you might set a dangerous precedent for your siblings. One youth who was raised well began associating with a group of young drug abusers. Soon he was a drug abuser himself. Fearing that his younger brother would follow in his footsteps, he warned him: "Don't you start using drugs!" But his actions proved more influential than his words, and his brother soon fell in with the same bad crowd. Surely, you would not want your conscience burdened with the knowledge that you had become a stumbling block for your own brother or sister!
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